Why...

It started of as any other day for me... a very normal morning infact... I got up at my usual time of around 5am... and after freshening up... headed straight for an early morning walk, coupled with a causal jog... almost all was going fine, till the time I noticed an elderly aunt, weeping and narrating an incident to somebody, which possibly wasn't to her liking... she was narrating the incident and weeping continuously... which made me feel very awkward and uneasy... I could very clearly see & feel the pain in her eyes and her voice seemed to be becoming heavy every passing second... I don't know why was I feeling so uneasy at the sight of seeing an elderly lady weep in full public view... I had never seen that lady before or even remotely known her... but there was something amiss... there was something that was drawing me closer to her... I wanted to go right up to her, inquire about her problem, possibly offer a solution and console her... but at the same time... there was something within me, which was stopping me from doing that... possible my own fears and inhibitions of approaching a stranger and being rebuked in return... for who am I to her... why should she share her sorrows with a stranger... and too with a person who's not even half her age... I kept on looking at her and wondering what would have made that innocuous and mild looking lady so upset... I wished if there was some divine intervention and all her sorrows get wiped off at once... but if only wishes were horses... that wasn't to be... she moved on... infact limping, and disguising the wiping of tears with a casual brush of hand across her face... from the worldly gaze...

This whole incident left me with a lot of unanswered questions in my mind... why do we get upset... what, makes us soooo upset... is getting upset a direct result of our own actions or inactions... why do people act in such an irresponsible manner that would upset individuals (directly or indirectly)... and what role does God has to play in it... if a person is so visibly upset then what is He doing sitting up there... is it not His duty to provide proper care and attention to His people... and if He's not able to fulfill His objectives, is it really sensible revering Him to such colossal heights...

To sum it up, I was very upset just at the sight of that poor old lady being subjected to such severe mental stress... why can't we as people be more responsible and responsive to each other's needs... I casually wonder, would world have been a better place, if we respected each other's feelings and showed care compassion towards each other... in the end I would like to say that I felt incapable of handling or even remotely addressing the trauma of that seemingly gentle lady... but I wish if I had those super human capabilities of healing sorrows and replacing them with gentle smiles...

Paradise Lost...

It comes so easily and naturally to each one of us… the blessed and divine souls of the universe... we get up each morning after a long night's halt and dormancy and effortlessly start off with our routine exertion... oblivious of the fact, how life would have been if we were not blessed with the power of vision, the ability to see things as they are and appreciate happenings around us…

But just spare a thought for the souls deprived of the divine blessing named… vision… try imagining their world… everything around appears BLACK to them… step into their world and you would realize how difficult it is just to cross a road… how difficult it would be to reach your destination without the power of vision… how difficult it would be to learn and educate yourself… how difficult it would be to find someone who could understand your feelings… how difficult it would be to find someone who would love you unconditionally… how difficult it would be to find a compatible soul mate with whom you can spend the rest of your life and would subsequently forget your hardships… how difficult would be to escape the guile of the world… difficult… difficult… difficult… is one word which could very well sum up the whole episode… struggle is how I can best describe their lives to be…

With this realization in mind and heart… I along with couple of my friends (Jaspreet Gill and his fiancée, Arshdeep Kaur) set off to visit the Institute for the Blind located in Sector 26, Chandigarh… it was an impromptu decision which struck our mind while on our way to lake on Saturday evening… we shelved our earlier plans of enjoying ourselves at the lake and instead decided to dedicate just one evening of our lives to these helpless individuals who have been handed a raw deal by life… and at the end of it all it turned out to be an amazing experience and wise decision… all of us felt a deep satisfaction after meeting those small little kids and being a part of their lives for just a couple of hours…

Since it was an impromptu decision, we could not take much but some éclairs to be distributed among the kids… there were about 100 kids in all… and we were really amazed to see the kids engaging themselves in a variety of activities ranging from playing cricket to learning Bhangra to learning how to weave chairs and beds from jute and also listening to TV, watching a Mithun movie and listening him bang the bad guys with sounds of Dishum – dishum echoing through the hall and small kids clapping on the supernatural feat of the superstar…girls busy learning to tidy each other’s hairs… and also learning how to stitch…

I am grateful to my friends for introducing me to the idea of helping these kids with special needs… and it has accentuated within me the desire of dedicating some part of my life to the develop and support the lives of these kids… who can well turn into another Hellen Keller or a Michelle from Black…

Looking back I could decipher their world to be so separated from ours… so different… insulated from the ever visible animosity and game of one-upmanship … they seemed to live so gently and peacefully… helping each other in their endeavors… it was a world very unlike ours to say the least…

Indeed life has lot of objectives to throw at you… it’s up to you, which one you catch hold of ultimately…

The "Prince", the Pit and the Media...

It's late evening, you reach home tired after a hard day's work and switch on the TV to rejuvenate yourself... but to your utter surprise you notice TV channels beaming the news of a small little kid fallen into a 60 feet deep well… and there seems to be no respite in sight... you empathize with the kid and move on praying for his early evacuation... time passes by... u again switch on the TV to find out if the kid has been rescued... but are dismayed to find out that it's not only you who is bothered... but infact the whole nation seems to have gone hysterical over the plight of the kid...

This was simple episode which actually played out with me... except that I was not the one to fall into the well and I was not the one who was frantically praying and keeping fasts for the kid’s evacuation... I just played the part of harried office returnee who gets to see no other news or pictures except of a small little kid in the midst of public attention and having all possible luxuries (of course those that could be made available in that small pit)... I have nothing against the kid and I actually pity the boys the condition... but I do not approve of the way the whole episode was handled by the news channels...

One news channel has sponsored his education, another has given him Rs 5 lakhs, the government has offered Rs 2 lakh and free medical check up, all this because he fell into 60 feet deep pit??? Well… I am willing to fall into a 120 feet pit and that too for over 100 hours... will someone sponsor my MBA fees...??? I am not trying to undermine the media's effort in highlighting the boy's ordeal, but do they need go overboard for this??? If the media and the Government are indeed so bothered about child welfare why do they have to wait for a Prince to fall into a pit.... there are lot of poor children in desperate need of help... why don't highlight their plight... getting hysterical over one child isn't good enough... and the same would go for the public in general... praying, keeping fasts and performing rituals just for the sake of safe passage of one kid would not earn them any brownie points... there are thousands of Prince who are dying a silent death each day... wake up and work for them as well... they deserve as much attention and time as Prince.... Chief Ministers to Prime Minister had been praying for his safe exodus... Prince and his mother are being called by various news channels for a one to one interview... well if this is the kind VIP treatment which is being meted to kids falling into gorges, pits and wells... then I am sure there must be scores of parents and kids willing to fall into them... if you could just ensure 2 simple square meals a day... nothing much...

And media must come forward and the blame for loosing focus and vying for TRP’s instead… Infact this is not the first time that the media has gone overboard in reporting events... in past there have been many incidents for which the media had been at the receiving end... Rahul Mahajan and Mika - Rakhi Sawant episodes are not the ones to be forgotten with ease...

An ode to the Kargil martyrs...

Height 7428 meters... ice cold winds... temperature almost zero degrees... backpack baggage around 15kilos... time midnight... gun shots blaring through ur ears... u just can't locate the enemy around... u are at the foothill and have to climb the whole mountain to throw the intruders away occupying ur land... there is no end in sight... no location to take shelter from the flying bullets... supply lines have been cut... ufffff... this is the plight of the brave Indian soldier who has to surmount so many obstacles each day so that we, ordinary, thankless, barren and distasteful individuals are able to sleep peacefully with our families… and more often than not it's that nameless, invisible soldier who pay's for our night's sleep with his live... how shameless are we as individuals that we just don't even remember them...

Today is one such day... it's 26th July 2006... a very ordinary day in the lives of us mortals... ungrateful individuals... we would eat, make merry and go to sleep, unmindful of the fact that this was the day 7 years back when some individuals laid their for the nation and did not let the enemy distort the map of India... I still remember some of the names... Capt. Amol Kalia, Squadron leader Ajay Ahuja and Capt. Vikaram Batra who laid their lives...

We Indians do not realize the value of something till the time we pay for it... and keep on taking things for granted... I was appalled to notice that no TV Channel, none of the newspapers or magazines or web links brought our victory in Kargil into any kind of prominence... either they did not feel the need for doing so or did not consider that the news would be given any weightage by the general public...

And more annoying was the reaction of the general public... nobody except for the families of those who lost their dear ones or those who injured themselves beyond recovery, ever remembered even for a minute about this day...

Somebody should have lighted a candle to let somebody know that we care... we remember... that we are with you... but no... how can we do that... what would people say... blah blah blah...

Shame on us... Jaago India Jaago...

My Companions... Orkut & Blogspot

Well blogging for me would never have happened... Blogging and I??? or for that matter even getting into any kind of social networking site was always a no no... I had always consciously stayed away from Yahoo chat... as I considered these sites to be nothing more than real time killers... but I don't know why and how have I recently hooked onto a couple of websites and I just can't have enough of them... one of them being Orkut and the second Blogspot… both of them being Google initiatives... now that I have been firmly gripped in by these sites... I have simply decided to give in and swim with the flow...

Orkut was the first site that took me by surprise... I never thought that I would be so captivated by a site that from the very start both spelled and sounded so awkward... but all thanks to Orkut which united to so many of my lost mates from school and college... also Orkut is a store house of knowledge and entertainment for me.... u name it and u have it... school communities, political, religious and dating forums... discussion boards on various topics and yes of course information all those topics which we can discuss in private, but would always shy discussing on a public platform like Orkut (until of course you camouflage ur identities) ... I hope u understand what I am trying to hint at... ha ha ha... I knew u all were well informed individuals...!!! Anyways... my best compliments would go to the Orkut team members who have been working tirelessly to make the best service available to millions of loggers each day... Thumps Up to u guys there...

My second vote of thanks would go to Blogspot... which has been a remarkable service... I infact knew about blogging and Blogspot in particular for quite some time but always considered it a luxury afforded by a select few... who had everything from time and uninterrupted internet connection to unlimited spare time and inexhaustible motivation available with them... but how I got hooked onto it is a very different story... I got onto the Blogspot platform just out of sheer curiosity and also possibly to avail of a chance to dabble into something new and unknown… and trust me the journey from there on has been an unparallel learning experience... sitting here in Chandigarh I one could just not imagine how far the world has traversed in terms of the knowledge accumulated and the application of that knowledge... it was really mind boggling to see the kinds of profiles being created, the ideas being generated and those trendy and awe inspiring looks being provided to these sites or blog pages I must say...

With the objective of learning something new and putting my creative urge to rest... I decided to create a blog and give my pent up feelings a little room to venture out... but creating a blog was just the beginning... I had not forgotten the dominating objective of learning something new through this... so I decided to refurbish my blog page and giving it a little interesting and trendy look... but for an individual with a non IT background, I found it extremely hard to maneuver my way through... but still I persisted and made my way... on my way I was helped by a troika of individuals, lending me a helping hand whenever I needed it the most... and I am a person who believes in giving credit where it's due... so I would like to pitch in with a special of note of thanks to, one, Ajit Sharma who has always been by side right from our childhood days and I must admit his knowledge of computers could perhaps match the very best in the field, he has always had an answer to my every question... that's simply awesome... second individual is Mr. Charanbir Singh my colleague at CIIS and my senior both in age, knowledge and hierarchy... he has also never stopped short of helping me or any other individual approaching him for help or support... I would term him as an individual who would know something about everything... and lastly I would like to thank Anand Verma again from CIIS for being very supportive and helpful, whenever needed and required...

So after heavy battles from within (ranging from motivation to create and sustain a blog) to the my known handicaps of computer usage... I think I have come a long way... last few days have been particularly hectic... as I have been busy trying to create and search blog templates... then to modify them to my liking... but finally I suppose I have mostly achieved my laid targets... and have won the major battle raging within me... now there are only small tidbits to be completed and I believe they should not take long to be accomplished...

An eventful trip to the National Capital...

Hiii all... first of all my sincere thanks to all the people with whose persistent efforts we have been able to get our favorite Blogspot back... Cheers... and long live the democracy...

Well, this post is supposed to be about my trip to Delhi... which was an eventful trip on many counts...

The trip to Delhi actually started off very grudgingly for me ... as I have always shied away of going to Delhi... I don't know why, but with due apologies to Delhi'ites... I have never had a very special liking for Delhi in any corner of my heart... so it was not a very pleasant trip to begin with... but still work always comes first... so I had no option but to go...

It all started with my boarding the early morning Shatabadi to Delhi on 19th June... professionally on the whole the tour wasn't very encouraging... I went there for conducting day long seminars in our branch offices... costly advertisement were placed in the national dailies... but surprisingly, they fell short of evincing any interest in the general public... this what sets me off... Delhi’ites has always been very hard to please... people hardly have time for events and activities or even for each other... they seem to be more interested in themselves... but anyways... I spent the first day in the GKII office which wasn't very productive... it was boredom unlimited... had somebody not invented the Internet and Orkut thereon... I would have died craving for some action...

The next two days were pretty interesting, went over to Rajouri Garden branch for the conduct of the seminars and was pleasantly surprised to see myself suddenly in demand... I was being acknowledged and respected... suddenly tables turned around... I thought the Delhi people were always unresponsive and self occupied... but this reception at the Rajouri can force me into changing my opinion... well, the trip to this branch was productive as I was able to solicit one conversion and consequently have a face to show... I have special mention for all the Rajouri branch people for making me feel wanted… and special thanks for the Rajouri Branch Manager Mr. Sarat Chandra Gupta for taking special care of me…

Well, on my trip to the capital, I was very lucky and happy to rekindle my old friendship with my erstwhile mates from college during my study days in Delhi and it was a welcome break to see and speak with old friends... we might have lost out on time but I was relieved to notice that the intensity was still the same... although some of them got married and some of them garnered good jobs...

Well, during one such meeting, I met with a (soon to turn) celebrity friend of mine... Arun Yadav... the meeting brought back memories of old times... the things had changed and they had changed drastically... we did meet... but with several restrictions imposed on us by our respective working schedules... still then... we were not the same... those carefree days... those night outs and that rowdism had evaporated and we never realized when did we mature... but still my friend Arun was still the same... he did not change a bit, same thoughts, same wacky ideas, he was exactly the same person whom I had left two and half years back... but I felt we had become wiser with time than ever before... but our meeting did not go as smoothly as thought or intended... as due to either his mistake or my pressure for a meeting we inadvertently parked the car at a non parking zone, which was ultimately towed down by the traffic police and we had no other option but to pay the fine for our mistake... but I would take the blame on myself and request Arun to forgive me for on that count... but nevertheless, I had a good time with Arun (can't say the same for him though)... I also intended to meet one of my other very sweet friend Ravi... but due to his and mine hectic work schedules we were unable to chart out a meeting plan... but still we maintained good contact over the phone...

The last eventful part of my trip to Delhi was my travel through metro rail... it was being touted the problem to India's infrastructure ills... yes it's somewhat an answer to that... the process is wonderful and I have all the praise for the way work has been done... the whole system works with clinical efficiency... I actually took my trip from Rajouri Garden to Rajeev Chowk and then ultimately to New Delhi Railway Station, on the insistence of my Rajouri Garden branch manager who was hell bent on me having an experience of metro rail... and I must thank him for his initiative... but I would not advise it to people who are traveling it for the first time and board the metro at 4.05pm have to catch train catch a train to Chandigarh at 5.15pm... the processes are so sophisticated that it takes you a while to get accustomed to it... we have generally been bread on those redundant systems... and I actually got stuck at quite a few places while on travel through metro and thankfully I got out of them in time to catch my train to Chandigarh at the slotted time ... and about my views for metro... I still feel it has a long way to go... it is still in its nascent phases and the traffic during the rush hours sometimes becomes a little hard to handle from the commuters point of view... and my observations with the Indian public is that although we are insensitive to time but when it comes to boarding buses or train or getting into a cinema hall we want to be the first ones to grab the best seat available...

Anyways... it was a nice trip... made more memorable by some benevolence, generosity and gentleness showered from some unexpected quarters of Delhi... Thanks Delhi...

About me...

Well, I had been thinking about this blog for a long time now... and even attempted writing it a couple of times over... but got entangled in the initial stages itself... deleted those blogs and started allover again... But now I have decided that I must stop thinking and post the blog as it is, as every time I would invariably start discovering new facets about my personality...

"I perceive myself as an individual who's smugly ensconced in his own little world... the entry to this club (or world) is restricted to a very select group of individuals who are very close to my heart... I prefer to spend majority of my time with these individuals than trying to make unnecessary group of friends... in other words you can label me as a very private person... I am very choosy about the things I select... friends, job or for that matter anything... I am also very committed to everything that I am directly associated with... work, family, friends or even country... although working for the world's largest immigration and resettlement company... I am very happy living here in India and would not like to trade it for the lure of settling abroad (at least at this point in time)... I want to stay back here in India and fight all the ill's plaguing the society... I feel this is my duty and responsibility (or infact of every fellow Indian)... I am just not able to swallow the thought of leaving the nation when it needs you the most... after all the nation has spent money and time on educating me... and certainly it has valid expectations from me...

My goals in life are very simple... I have seldom crazed for a lot of money... only thing that I desire is having a sweet and understanding family... the only material aspects that I aspire for is a small house and a small car of my own... I plan to work in the corporate world for possibly another ten years at the max and would then tend to dedicate my life towards social causes... joining or forming an NGO. I thankfully have never crazed for limelight for almost althoughout my life... and honestly I would want to stay as far away from it as possible... and in the end... I would just want to die peacefully with no baggage of conscience around my neck... and would also like to breathe my last here at my home soil where I grew up... that would be the perfect finale to a struggling soul..."

it might sound like a moral science lesson but that was an honest admission about myself... hope u would have enjoyed reading...

Unforgetful days of my life...

U get up one day and a surprise is in store for you... but do not mistake that surprise to be a pleasant one everytime... just like movement is not always forward only, the same way, we all also have combinations of good and bad days in life... which we would never be able to erase from our memory, even if we wanted to...

Presented below is a list of events... both good and bad which have left a profound impact on my life...

• It all began with the birth of this divine, illustrious, celebrated individual on the 21st day of April, 1980
• Second important day in my life, 23rd December 1984, I am blessed with a cute little brother, named Ishaan...
• 8th January 1986, I lose my paternal grandfather to God... (God ensured I never had enough of him)
• 2nd June 1986, I meet with a near fatal accident...
• 30th December 1989, I lose my maternal grandfather...
• Years 1990 - 1992 Golden years of my life... enjoyed life to the hilt... everything I touched turned into gold...
• December 16th 1990 a black day in my life... (Would not like to illustrate)
• Year 1991, for the first time in my life I stood second in my class... most memorable moment of my life... it gave me a sense of self belief...
• 1991 A bitter feud ensued between me and one of my very best friend of those time Varun Gautam and we part ways... only to be reunited after 10 long years... illustrated below...
• Year 1992, failed in Mathematics while in class seven... a huge blot on my competence... scored 17 out of 100
• August 17, 1993 lost my maternal grandmother...
• 23rd December 1993, my first article published in the "Letter to Editor" column of Indian Express's local daily, Chandigarh Newsline... my joy knows no bounds...
• 1994, I fail for the second time in life again in mathematics scoring just 27 out of 100... into my 9th standard...
• August 1995, I bunk my tuition for the first time ever and went to watch Hum Aapke Hain Kaun...
• May 1996, caught by Dad bunking tuition classes...
• My second golden era begins... lasts from 1996 - 1998 enjoyed every bit of it... everything I touched turned gold for the second time in my life...
• 26th July 1996 met one of my very best friends in life... Jaspreet Gill...
• 31st August 1996, Ravinder Singh's birthday... I bunk school for the first time to have sweets in the neighborhood shop... Katani to be precise... but unfortunately caught by teachers who are also incidentally there having sweets and got a good thrashing and told to go back to school as the teachers continued to have their sweets...
• December 1996 for the second time I stand second in my class... winning accolades all around..
• January 25, 1997... I reach school and scale the boundary wall of the school in the lunch break and escape to loiter around with my friends...
• January 29, 1997... I leave home for school... but do not reach school... instead watched movies at my friends place...
• 14th February 1997... for the first time in life I watch a live concert by Gurdass Mann...
• 17th June 1997... I along with a friend of mine drank beer (or alcohol of any form) for the first time in my life...
• 31st December 1997... I celebrate New Year with friends... one of the most happiest evenings of my life...
• September 1st 1999... I fail in Mathematics in BBA - 1st Year and earn a compartment... a huge huge blot...
• 5th September 1999, I break my association with God... turn Anti - God...
• December 2000... my first attempt at cracking CAT... I fail...
• May 2001 - till date... struggle to establish my self continues...
• 2001 I fail to crack any major MBA exam...
• Early 2002... I secure 98.74% in MAT examination...
• 1st March 2002 I appear for Amity Business School... but fail to break through...
• 12th May 2002... I appear for IIPM exam... and I clear it... (My biggest tragedy in life... life changes thereafter)
• 22nd May 2002 I deposit fees at IIPM Delhi and joining it...
• 3rd June 2002... my classes in Delhi IIPM begin...
• 16th June 2002 pick pocketed... hell breaks loose thereafter...
• 22nd October 2002... my friend Ravinder Singh is granted visa for UK in his second attempt... and I drink to my hearts content...
• 10th April 2003... a forgetful day in my life...
• December 24, 2003... I sit for campus interviews but fail miserably... my confidence is dented...
• December 2004 fail in interview for Bank of Punjab...
• February 28, 2004... I return back to Chandigarh from Delhi for good...
• March 27 2004... I fail in the written test for ICICI Bank...
• April 23 2004... I join CIIS... my current employer...
• 12th August 2004... I meet Gurpreet for the first time... also my dad and brother have a brawl with Tuli. Rajyavardhan Rathore wins silver in shooting in Olympics.
• May 2005... fail in interview for Hutch...
• 9th June 2005... enjoyed the day a lot (meeting old friends from School)
• July 2005... clear an all India Test for ICICI Bank...
• 18th October 2005... enjoyed the day a lot with my friends in Surat...
• September 19, 2005... fail again in interview for ICICI Bank...
• December 2005... fail in interview for Zee Telefilms limited...
• 3rd March 2006... fail again in an interview for ICICI bank...
• 15th March 2006... first phone conversation with Gurpreet...
• 10th July 2006... a forgetful day once again... summoned to the police station...

So these were the string of events which affected my life in one way or the other... and which I would remember throughout my life...